The Teaspoon and the Ocean
On Rebirthing— and finding God in between
I want to tell you something I've never fully said out loud, at least not in one place.
The most transformative experience of my life did not happen in a therapist's office, a church, or a boardroom. It happened in ceremony.
The first major awakening for me was in 2012.
The First Time I Remembered Being Born
I had never thought of myself as spiritual. I'd been raised in the traditions of Judaism, but the idea of one God, of any God, really, never resonated. It felt too far away. Too abstract. Too much like something other people felt and I simply... didn't.
And then I lay down in ceremony.
What came wasn't a vision in the way I might have expected. It was a memory. My actual birth.
I was in my mother's womb and I knew it. It was warm. I could feel the heartbeat, hear the heartbeat. I was surrounded by what felt like a beautiful, enchanted forest: birds chirping, a stillness so peaceful I had never once touched it in my waking life. I felt, for the first time, completely safe.
And then, the fear came, overwhelmingly. A sudden, sharp terror that I couldn't breathe. Something like drowning. A bright light. A deep, bone-level cold.
Stickiness. And then I understood: I was being born.
Not metaphorically. The hospital room. The fluorescent lights. The first breath of a life I had not yet chosen.
When I returned to ordinary consciousness, I could still taste copper in my mouth. I still felt sticky. And I knew with a certainty I had never accessed through reason or argument or scripture, that God existed. That there was infinitely more than what we can see.
My spiritual awakening didn't gently unfold after that. It magnetized. It exponentialized. Every breath, I understood, was a rebirth. As a felt, embodied truth. That was 2012. It changed me forever.
What I Did Right (For Me)
-I actually showed up. I faced my fear and did something entirely outside my comfort zone, for myself.
-I was guided by an experienced, intelligent, and profoundly kind facilitator.
-I chose a 1:1 setting, which felt intimate and held.
-I stayed within the United States, somewhere I knew support was accessible if I needed it.
What I Wish I Had Known
-That's what everything I offer is for. And it's why I'm here, writing this to you.
-You don't have to go first without a guide.
-You don't have to carry the questions alone.
-If you're curious — if something in this landed — let's talk. I offer free initial consultations for anyone beginning to explore plant medicine. No pressure, no agenda. Just conversation.
Book a free consultation because your journey, whatever it looks like, deserves support.
You need not be alone.
With love and one very full teaspoon,
Marisa
Beyond Limits Expressive Arts Therapy