You Stopped the Behavior. So Why Does Something Still Feel Missing
Every person I've worked with in addiction recovery has also lost some sense of who they really are.
Addiction does that. It draws people away from their values, the relationships they love, their inner light, and the trust that they are loved as they are.
Here is the question I keep returning to: If addiction causes that disconnection, wouldn't sobriety automatically restore it?
That is rarely what I see (even after Ibogaine floods).
Abstinence creates safety because it interrupts destructive patterns and gives the body and nervous system room to stabilize. Although, for many people, abstinence alone does not restore the deeper sense of self that was lost before the addictive behavior even started.
What I've come to understand is this: addiction is often a strategy for managing something that feels overwhelming, unresolved, even unbearable. Seen that way, it is a symptom. The root cause is unhealed trauma and a severed relationship with the authentic self.
When we begin addressing that root, recovery becomes something far more potent than stopping a behavior. We take a closer look at what that behavior was trying to manage.
Through my own sixteen-year recovery from Bulimia, and through the work I do with others, I've found that the combination of Internal Family Systems, sacred plant medicine ceremonies, and expressive arts therapy creates the deepest, most lasting change.
The most meaningful recovery I witness is not symptom removal. It is the restoration of a person's relationship with themselves. It is the return to values that feel lived rather than performed. It is the gradual, sometimes surprising rediscovery of what it feels like to be fully present in one's own life.
We each carry the capacity for that return. What we need is a workable way to support it, one that honors the full depth of what was lost, and the full depth of what is possible.
👉🍄 That is the foundation of Nourish Your Soul, a 6-week journey designed to restore you to yourself.
If this is resonating, I'd love to have you join us. All the details are here: https://www.marisaskolky.com/nourish-your-soul
